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Love and Relationships

To Love vs. Being In Love

Obese Woman
Posted by Tara White on Saturday, December 17, 2011

Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time? Some will argue that to love and being in love are the same thing. There are of course different types of love, but I'm talking about the love between a man and a woman after the initial attraction and infatuation between the two have simmered and you get to know one another. This is the point where the love relationship begins.

When you date, you may date one, two or three people for that matter, and then you may be really attracted to them and enjoy their company. Each possesses a different quality that you enjoy, which makes them unique and stand out from the others. This is what, besides their looks, attracted them to you in the first place.

As you date more, feelings begin to develop and you find yourself thinking about this person day and night. You want to be with them all the time, and the feeling is mutual. At the same time, you may be seeing someone else who you enjoy deeply but the novelty has worn off. Do the feelings you have for one prevail over the other? Are you in love with this other person as well or do you love them for who they are and the relationship you two have developed? If there came a time for you to have to make a decision, can you pick one over the other, keep them both, or do you walk away from both because you can't decide?

I have been in a few debates over this issue. It seems more men than women feel you can be in love with two people at the same time. As I said then, I say now, each is entitled to his or her own opinion. The love you feel for your kids or parents or siblings is totally different then the love you feel for a person you are attracted to physically and sexually. If you are in this situation, stop and think about who is getting more of your time, thoughts and affection. Eventually, one will prevail and win your heart completely if you are looking for a committed relationship.

Personally, I don't think it's possible to be in love with two people at the same time. I don't feel that your heart can beat the same for two people. When you're in love, it's exclusive. It's powerful. It's beautiful. When you're in love, you see a person with few flaws or blemishes. When you're in love, no one or nothing else matters. If I were seeing two people at the same time and loved them both but was in love with one, I'd have to choose the man I was in love with. How many love songs do hear and they are singing about being in love with 2 people? Maybe one or two!


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